Of my sister and catching up with the world

I had a long, long chat with my younger (only 41) sister over the weekend. For a long time she has been having problems with one eye, and no-one could tell her what it was.

Finally her GP gave her the news that it was an inflamed optic nerve, and that this is the most common symptom denoting the onset of MS.

Fuck.

She then waited 6 weeks for a brain scan, which revealed no lesions, so has been diagnosed as NOT having MS, but having a 60/40 chance of developing it.

And I worry about not having a baby.

In the same conversation I also discovered that my niece is due her second baby in just over 6 weeks, and my SIL is pregnant again (her first is now 2 and a half years old – same as my first would have been).

And R’s only cousin’s partner is also pregnant.

I guess they don’t do it on purpose to destroy me!

In the meantime, on 16th October, we filled in what seemed like dozens of forms. And we have confirmed that we will attend a preparation course on every Saturday throughout November. That’s soon! And they expect us to use contraceptives from now on. Oh – I could say more!!

The news is FULL of adoption stories, what with the lovely Mad.onna’s latest exploits. Good word, exploit. Directly related to exploitation. Don’t be fooled – this is NOT about helping a child out of poverty – there are 100 other ways to do this before taking a child out of its home, away from its father, and bringing it up where I believe it can never feel it belongs. Money is very important, especially when you don’t have it, but it isn’t everything.

Rant over.

Tentatively moving forward

We had a conversation, R and I.
What to do about the adoption thing?
It all seems like a huge mountain to climb, with absolutely no guarantees that you will reach the summit, and every chance the failure to do so could push us over the edge.

BUT.

What if ....adoption was an easy process?
What if .....we just had to fill in a form with our names and address and in due course get our adopted toddler?
Would we do it?
Yes, of course.
And we UNDERSTAND why there have to be all these hoops.
They wouldn't know just from a simple form if we are nice people (which we are) or axe murderers (which we aren't).

SO
We will go through the process.
We always have the caveat - if it gets too much, we can stop.

So I phoned the department who had interviewed us.
OMG - they said they REALLY liked us.
They were about to call us to 'kind of headhunt' us, as we hadn't contacted them immediately.
[Do you know - my confidence has been so low that I got off the phone and CRIED because it's the first time anyone 'external' has been positive about my prospects as a parent (or, to be frank, professionally) for AGES.]
Suddenly I feel there may be some hope out there.

Next appointment with Social Services - 16th October.
Let the vetting process begin.
Am I afraid?
Miaow.