Getting off the Rollercoaster - Going for Adoption

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


I know I said it was only a formality, but it was still quite nerve-wracking. And I didn't realise how emotional I would feel when they said yes. Suddenly it seemed like a Great. Big. Thing. Which it is, of course.

We arrived just before 10am - the panel appointment was scheduled for 10.15am. KT turned up just after 10 and we sat waiting drinking tea and eating REALLY nice biscuits (ginger and chocolate - R had the chocolate cookies with the white chocolate chunks).

Time passed. The three of us for some reason got to talking about pest infestations - cockroaches, rats and bed bugs. Apparently roaches eat bed bugs - their one redeeming feature. Ugh.

Finally, just before 11am KT was called in. She had already explained she would be first in, alone, and then we would be called. Sure enough, 15 minutes later we went in. Although I knew there would be a lot of people, walking into the room was quite a shock. 12 people sitting round a huge table, all looking at us. Each person introduced themself. Social workers, including the head of the children's services, councillor, educational psychologist, and adopter, a grown-up who had been adopted, minute-taker, doctor - and more. They explained how much they appreciated our application, that they could see how much work we had done to produce it. I indicated KT - she did work hard and produced a really good reflection of us.

They asked us three questions I think: What had we learnt from the adoption classes and the whole process; who would we turn to for help when needed with our adopted child(ren); how did we think we would manage to make changes in our [present] active lifestyle to accommodate child(ren) in our life. It didn't take long, and none of the questions obviously were anything that we hadn't already thought about and discussed, so we handled it all easily. Then there was a brief discussion about the fact that we have stated we would be willing / interested in adopting more than one child. They asked us to wait outside again (with KT again) while they deliberated.

I was slightly freaked. KT was reassuring. "Nothing to worry about at all. They loved you".

We went back in, maybe 10 minutes later. Lots of smiles and how much a pleasure it has been meeting you, and we are pleased to say we have all agreed to approve your application.

That was it. Approved. I welled up. They passed me a tissue. We parted, all smiles.

KT, true to form, still had another sheet of paper that we had not signed, so we retired to a small room to sign that before leaving, and she explained what would happen next. I wasn't really able to concentrate on what she was saying. She will be in touch if she finds a child that looks like a match, that much I know. She thinks it should happen within 6 months, but she can't say for sure. But I really wasn't with it. I thanked her and hugged her (first hug).

We are over a major hurdle. The great and the good are all agreed. We can become adopters. Blimey.


  • This is great news. I'm really pleased for you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:48 pm  

  • Blimey indeed. Congratulations!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:05 pm  

  • Congratulations! How exciting! I'm wishing you all the best during this time!

    By Blogger Anna, at 3:05 pm  

  • That is wonderful! Congratulations. You could have your child before I do. ;) That would be so nice. Wishing you lots of luck and joy once your child arrives. I really can't express how thrilled I am that it all went through.

    By Blogger Shinny, at 3:41 pm  

  • Not feeling very communicative recently but breaking the silence to say congratulations!

    By Blogger DrSpouse, at 10:44 am  

  • Congratulations iam very pleased for you, i have been following your story, well done and lots of positive vibes. Here is my email address if you can contact me re my previous comments. Thanking you in advance
    Ruthie x

    By Blogger Ruthie, at 1:50 am  

  • I'm so pleased for you.

    By Blogger Drowned Girl, at 7:56 am  

  • Congratulations on your approval! So exciting!

    By Blogger Tracy, at 9:59 pm  

  • hi vivien, i stumbled upon your blog in the middle of another sleepless night. we lost our second baby last dec n i'm just about understanding what this means to my wife. we've grown apart since n even our marriage is on the brink. but i've just come to accept that what she's going thru is nothing but severe depression. reading your blog has helped me understand n you have been amazing. cheers on your adoption approval. we too have decided to adopt, but i don't think my wife was ready. she went along only coz i wanted it so bad. she's very withdrawn, hardly eats n avoids meeting friends n family. any ideas on now i can help? thanks for hearing me out n cheers again!

    By Blogger ajay noronha, at 1:38 am  

  • Congratulations. That's awesome!

    By Blogger Bloggeroo, at 6:34 am  

  • Fantastic news, I'm so pleased! Hopefully it won't be long now.

    By Blogger Thalia, at 11:49 am  

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