Getting off the Rollercoaster - Going for Adoption

Thursday, September 06, 2007

The unexpected followed by the very familiar

Just a very brief update to say that last Thursday at CD 35, (which is not unheard of for me on a normal cycle) I POAS and was genuinely surprised to get a second line. After all, I had meant to get off the rollercoaster - we certainly hadn't been 'trying', and as it's been well over a year since my last m/c I just thought I wouldn't get pg again.

I was, however less surprised to start spotting a few days later.

I had decided for my sanity (a) not to tell anyone and (b) not to do anything.

I just couldn't face bloods and HCG levels, never mind even thinking about Clexane injections, steroids and so on. They didn't help before and I just didn't think they would help this time anyway.

Needless to say this one is not a keeper either. Symptoms are gone and the spotting continues. I know the signs.

Fortunately we are about to go on holiday, and I expect to have the 'full m/c' (how to say that in a nice way?) while we are away. I'm packing pads and painkillers.

See you after my holiday.


  • Oh Viv, I am so sorry. Is it wrong that I keep hoping that one of your pregnancies WON'T end in m/c? Life seems terribly unfair. Sending you hugs. And virtual alcohol.

    By Blogger Anna, at 3:18 pm  

  • You sound very resigned, but I'm sure it's still very sad news. And I'm very sad for you. I hope the break is good nonetheless.

    By Blogger Thalia, at 5:19 pm  

  • Why do I always see myself so clearly in your posts??? I (still) identify so strongly with the whole "turn off the hope and take control of what you can" mentality.
    Please take care of yourself Vivien and let us know when you are back, okay?

    By Blogger DinosaurD, at 5:47 pm  

  • I'm so sad for you. Sending you love and light and hoping you can find some peace on your holiday.

    By Anonymous Nikole, at 11:07 pm  

  • Oh Vivien, that just sucks! I so hope that you are wrong in reading the signs and that you come back from Holiday with a surprise for us. I will be thinking of you and hoping for the best. Pollyanna here, you know. ;)
    Hope that the pads and whatnot just take up space both there and back.

    By Blogger Shinny, at 10:14 pm  

  • I'm so very sorry. It just sucks.

    By Blogger Alice, at 4:03 pm  

  • Dear Vivien, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. I hope you're doing OK, and that your break is helping a little.

    By Anonymous Kath, at 1:18 pm  

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