Getting off the Rollercoaster - Going for Adoption

Friday, July 13, 2007

Slow slow SLOW!

We were due to meet with KT again on Wednesday 11th, but we had a message on our phone on the Tuesday to say she was sick and could not attend 'for a couple of weeks'.

I realise she can't help being sick, and I do not completely lack sympathy (I am a really little concerned for her that it is something bad enough to warrant being off for a couple of weeks), but I must admit to getting a little frustrated and impatient at this point. The home study has just ground to a halt. And yet we have been meeting almost once a week since sometime in March.

When we last saw her (June 7th I think, off the top of my head) we knew we would have a "month off" while she took up our references, and we know from our friends that most of them have been taken up. However, neither of our family references have been visited (R's mother and my sister), so heaven knows when that will finally happen, but I don't doubt that it must do before we go to panel. I just feel a bit irritated that KT, being part time - about 2 days a week - (and working from home and therefore relatively difficult to reach by email etc) that we are losing even more time.

In the meantime things are getting a little stressful on other fronts - mainly that R's mum, Charis, has just been diagnosed with brea*st can*cer. She has actually been caught very early (a recall on a mammogram for calcification of milk ducts revealed another small tumour on ultrasound) and, in spite of news pieces that have been hitting the headlines today, she is due to undergo an operation next Friday - just 4 weeks after the ultrasound detected it. So I am certainly not complaining on that account. However, as bad luck would have it, R's brother, wife and 7-year-old Stan are emigrating to Canada, and are leaving just 2 days before Charis' operation. So poor Charis is in bits - never mind that she will still have to go through 6 weeks of radiotherapy, with treatments 50 miles away every other day. She is 65 in September but still working and regards herself as indestructible, so this whole episode has upset her at quite a profound level. (Her husband, R's dad, has been diagnosed with Alzheimers, and though he is not yet too bad, he isn't really taking this in or being much of a support to her). Poor thing, it's a lot to be dealing with (for both of them really).

I guess it sounds a bit mad, even a bit selfish of us, but Charis would be so thrilled if we got a baby soon - even if we just got approved and she had it to look forward to. I really think it would make a huge difference, especially bearing in mind that the 7-year-old is her only grandchild, and soon to be in Canada.

BUT - if the panel next meets at the end of August and there is still so much to get through, what are the chances the whole thing will get delayed?

Come on KT - stir yourself!


  • Thanks for the comment.

    Hi Vivien. You just left a comment on my old blog about miscarriage. I can't remember my password to get in and approve your comment or reply to it. I suppose that's a sign of good things.

    We're doing beautifully. I have a 7-year old daughter with whom I'm deeply in love and have finally begun to resolve many of the problems that were weighing me down with that other blog.

    Now, obviously, you have access to my less anonymous blog. I'm fine with that. I just didn't want anyone I knew locally reading the miscarriage one.

    I just read this one post of yours and will try follow your blog again. I'm sorry such rough times. Cancer is deeply stressful at the least. No question about that. Don't second guess your choices. As long as you are considerate and tell Charis your plan, I'm sure she'll understand.

    Wow though. Sure pulls the rug out from under you, doesn't it.

    By Blogger Evenewra, at 12:56 pm  

  • Just wanted to check in and make sure you are not flooded out!

    By Blogger DrSpouse, at 9:04 am  

Post a Comment

<< Home