Getting off the Rollercoaster - Going for Adoption

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

How far to go?

I drove down to a village just over the border into Wales to pick up the turkey for Christmas dinner.

I came across a beautiful village in Wales, but really not so far from where we currently live.

I thought - "if we lived HERE we would be outside of the little county we currently live in - and we would be eligible to adopt FROM that county."

My social worker called and confirmed this would be the case, but said - "don't get too carried away - we really don't have many babies".

And I don't really want to leave our current house. Plus the other stuff we would have to consider - our house is not high value, and we would end up with a much higher mortgage, and if I had to stop working too .... and and and.

So I have been looking at property web sites in the area, but most of the houses in our price range are just hideous and I couldn't bear it.

And so it goes on. I am not even expecting all this to be successful.

In other news -

H (see previous posts) gave birth on 12/12 to a baby girl, Amelie, at 24, nearly 25 weeks. Her little heart gave out very soon after the birth. She never breathed, though they filled her lungs with oxygen. By a weird fluke I was there at the hospital, though not in the delivery room as it happened. It was the saddest, saddest thing I have ever witnessed. Amelie was tiny but so perfect. I was under instructions not to cry, and I spent over an hour with H and her partner, N (R's only cousin) and I didn't cry. I don't know how. But when I got home that night, and talked to R and his sister (who was visiting) I realised that H and N would have to leave Amelie behind when they left the hospital. The thought broke something and I just broke. That kind of sobbing that makes your whole body heave.

Then A, my neice, gave birth to an 8lb 6oz baby girl, on 18th December. Name, Holly Rose. I am just jealous and can't work out why she has this baby and I don't have one.

I know there is no justice, life is not fair. I still wish it could be though. For all our sakes.

May 2007 hold for you everything you wish it would hold.



  • Welcome back Vivien. Thanks for the comment - people like you help me keep my sanity (although I do wish that you didn't understand quite so well).
    I don't know what to say about adoption other then to support your decision to at least try (and to applaud your grace and style at negotiating the hurdles?) I would have adopted years ago if my husband had been interested (a long story in itself) but we would have gone the international route as domestic adoption ruled us as "too old" (ouch) and the wait (if we had qualified) would have been years at best.
    I guess it's a good thing that not many unwanted babies are being born but it still enrages me when I see someone ignoring their sobbing baby or toddler (I guess I do need to work on the whole anger management thing).

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:16 pm  

  • Dear Vivien, Happy New Year to you, too. I hope 2007 brings you nothing but happiness and good fortune.

    I'm so sad about H's baby. What a horrific loss.

    A big hug to you, my dear.

    By Anonymous Kath, at 1:53 pm  

  • Happy (belated) new year to you too....

    And my heart breaks for Amelie's parents and that they know this pain.

    By Blogger Meri-ann, at 1:38 pm  

  • Viven,

    There are so few genuine, gentle, warm and strong women left in this world and you are one of them.

    Keep your heid up and yer chin doon as my gran used to say - think it just means stay strong


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:45 pm  

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