Getting off the Rollercoaster - Going for Adoption

Monday, November 06, 2006

First adoption class (check)

On Saturday we went to our first full day of 'Adoption Preparation'. It wasn't a bad way to spend the day - because of the small numbers of people involved we are 'prepared' alongside prospective foster parents. There were 10 prospective parents - 4 adopters and 6 fosterers, ranging in age. 4 couples and a man and a woman who were single foster parents.

We had a good introduction to the role of the social workers, and were given some case studies. The case studies involved passing little brightly-coloured plastic figures from home to home as their story was told. One little boy was taken into foster care from his drug-addicted parents almost from birth, and then adopted at 15 months. R and I had the little plastic figure as adoptive parents. I was ridiculously happy.

I did have a tearful moment, as the lifestyle of these birth-parents was discussed. They were taking amphetamines, and would be wakeful or asleep for days on end, right throughout the pregnancy. It brought some anger and frustration to the surface. How can some women do this, and still give birth to a healthy baby, while the rest of us struggle with finding the finest balance of progesterone, prednisolone, heparin and stress? (Oh - and then miscarry anyway).

But mostly I'm not angry. I am actually a little relieved that we are changing our direction. Honestly? No, we are not yet using contraception, as we always said we would 'give it till the end of the year' - but we are on the way to having a family, and I genuinely believe, as we approach Christmas 2007, it may be WITH A CHILD. It is an amazing thought.

Update on the pregnancies in my last post:
E, the SIL is due in March, but is already experiencing a lot of difficulties with the pregnancy. She is quite overweight, which I understand may have an influence, but she seems to have symptoms of pre-eclampsia already. I hope it's not serious - I can never judge with her whether it is really a serious threat or how much is just my brother and her making a bit of a fuss. Which they do about all sorts of other things, but who can say?

H, the cousin's partner, (American) is having a real nightmare. She has what I believe is called PROM, which means she has a ruptured amniotic sac. The baby (at 19 and a half weeks) has no fluid around it, and she may miscarry any time. I spoke to her yesterday. Her lovely doctor has already said 'not to worry, this is a very unusual condition, and will have no effect on future pregnancies'. FUTURE PREGNANCIES?? What about this one? Poor H. Meanwhile she stays in bed in the hope that the tear will mend itself, and the pregnancy will continue all right. Please let it be so.I feel oddly guilty. For all the envy I felt, I never would have wished this. If you are the praying type, could you put a word in for her?

And finally A, my niece, is due on December 7th. She feels the baby will arrive early to join his or her 4 year old brother.

3 Comments:

  • I'm excited for you on the adoption front, and certainly hope you will be with a child next Christmas. I realize that would be the best Christmas present ever, for several years in a row.

    It doesn't matter how your child comes to you; you don't have to be pregnant and give birth to be a mother. I understand that this would be ther preferred and optimal way, of course. But if after trying and trying it's not happening, I'm glad you are turning to adoption. I think you'd be a wonderful mother. I do pray that a new addition to your family is forthcoming, sooner than later. Thank you for shring your journey towards motherhood with us! I feel priviledged to be able to read your story.

    By Blogger Anna, at 8:41 pm  

  • So glad to hear from you, and your class does sound like a good experience. I felt the same way when I read that news story about the baby who died after his parents, who were heroin/meth addicts, fed him methadone so he'd go to sleep. But as our parents always said, life isn't fair, and we are all doing our best trying to work out how we go with what we've been given.

    By Blogger Thalia, at 3:54 pm  

  • Congratulations on taking a big step and completing your first adoption class! I'm so glad to hear you sounding so hopeful about pursuing this avenue toward your dream of having a child. You will be a wonderful mother.

    I am the praying type and just said a prayer for H that she and her baby would be okay.

    By Anonymous Jill, at 1:18 pm  

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