Getting off the Rollercoaster - Going for Adoption

Friday, February 17, 2006

Do we believe in miracles?

Dr X obviously believes in miracles. He seems to have seen a few. He stops miscarriages. They are even making a TV programme about him.
He was kind and listened to the story.
(A big fat clown, he must be 20 stone. Can you take medical advice from a 20 stone man?)
I was calm and didn’t cry.
I gave him my excel chart which shows every miscarriage and the length of every cycle. I like to think of it as useful information.
I gave him the letters from my consultant with test results from all the tests.
I gave him the letter from the last fertility expert, who tried but couldn’t save my 5th pregnancy.
He looked at these, though not all that carefully.
He said my NK result was meaningless, as it had not been carried out by a lab which gave meaningful results.
He said all they got right was the price. £350.
He told me he could offer me treatment – steroids and a blood thinner.
Because of my age and the number of miscarriages, he will not insist that I go through another NK cell test – he doesn’t need it if I don’t feel the need.
I told him, honestly, that I do believe that NK cells are my problem. And even if not, I do believe that blood thinners are effective, for whatever reason.
(see Babyfruit for evidence, if nothing else).
So I agreed to go ahead, and he agreed to treat me.


The cynics will say, desperate woman, money-grabbing doctor. Match made in heaven. The fool is easily parted from her money.

Dr X said I had an 85% chance of a successful pregnancy.
Who knows.


But then, for some reason that I can’t remember, and just before our half hour was up, he suddenly decided I might have PCOS, and insisted I needed a blood retest.
What? PCOS? I don’t have a weight problem (well, nothing significant); I don’t have acne or thinning hair, nor facial hair nor dark patches on my skin.
(See – I have checked PCOS out already). I do have quite long and slightly irregular cycles – they can vary by up to 7 days. But he looked at my FSH/LH test at 4.2/8.2 and said it was diagnostic. Why had this not been picked up? We went back to the letter from my consultant that said we could pretty much rule out PCOS. But Dr X is not convinced.
I can’t believe I so nearly walked out of there with real hope – I felt so cheated by a last minute problem. I only had about 2 minutes during which I BELIEVED I might be able to have a baby, and it was so lovely.
I SO WANT NOT to have PCOS. I have tried 2 tests on the web, and scored very low – really unlikely, but that doesn’t count anyway if the blood test is diagnostic, I suppose. Of course, Dr X has the solution even if the test show PCOS. Metformin, or something – insulin sensitising drug. Has the rather tempting side effect of making you lose weight. But Dr Nice, back at the NHS says it works for some, not for everyone. He was surprised about Dr X’s suspicion of PCOS. Then we looked at my last blood test, which was taken, it transpired, on day 10 of my cycle. Not ideal, apparently. So he scheduled me for a re-test.
Today I get my blood retested. Day three of my cycle. My bleed is heavy and crampy and I am cranky and edgy.
If they tell me it is PCOS, I think I will go and find a stone to hide under.

You have to laugh, really.
Please can I have my miracle, I promise to be good.

4 Comments:

  • Oh, Vivien, PLEASE tell me the name of this doctor! You can e-mail me at lolabadeggs@yahoo.co.uk. I so need someone who is willing to take a chance on me.

    I hope you get the news you want re the PCOS.

    By Blogger Lola, at 11:58 am  

  • Tell us what you learn. We're waiting and hoping for you.

    Forgive me if this question is unhelpful. Is PCOS treatable? I don't know much about this.

    By Blogger Warriorwen, at 12:10 am  

  • Ugh, I'm sorry you got a curve ball thrown at you at the 11th hour. Your doctor is right in that the blood test is indicative, but it sounds as if that blood test might not be reliable. Have you had a scan done to see if your ovaries have the classic PCOS morphology?

    What has led you to believe so completely that NK cells are the problem?

    By Blogger Thalia, at 7:54 pm  

  • Hi everyone, Dr. Nancy Dunne has written an interesting article about Avandia and PCOS. She thinks improving the composition of your diet, getting more exercise and controlling chronic stress can go a long ways toward solving your insulin resistance problems and may reduce your dependence on Avandia or Glucophage. You can read her article for more details about women taking Avandia for PCOS.

    By Anonymous Marilyn, at 8:15 am  

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