Getting off the Rollercoaster - Going for Adoption

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Hate the world today

Stupid fucking title to this blog - choosing to adopt is not about getting off a rollercoaster - it's just a whole different one.

Fucking assholes weren't serious and have not taken the process any further with us (after INSISTING that KT consult us last week).

If it is any consolation, [hardly really, it makes no difference now] our agency has just blacklisted the agency which has screwed us over, and are very angry on our behalf.

Do they KNOW what this is like? Do they KNOW that this weekend I finally forced myself to BELIEVE that this may really happen, and cleared out the 'spare room'. Bar the cot, and redecorating (and we were waiting to see what colour his current room was before we did that) it was all ready. R put the fence up in the garden. It really had become real, and now it's been taken away from us AGAIN.

I know this is irrational, and childish but I just keep feeling it will always be taken away from me, the minute I get excited. And stupidly I had got excited.

7 miscarriages, just one missed adoption . . . so far.



posted by Country Chick at 6:23 pm

9 Comments:

  • Ah sweetie - it's not irrational nor childish. It's a reflection of your experience to date - I'd think you were a moron to feel any differently.
    I will continue to get excited for you the next time but I understand if you are a little more reticent.
    Fucking assholes indeed.
    DinoD

    By Blogger DinosaurD, at 6:47 pm  

  • oh v i am so sorry, how incredibly frustrating and depressing. You deserve a good rant after that. I hope that next time comes fast, and plays out the good way.

    By Blogger Thalia, at 11:04 pm  

  • I'm not surprised you're really upset.

    xx

    By Blogger Drowned Girl, at 8:54 pm  

  • Oh, that's so awful. I'm heartbroken for you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:05 pm  

  • Wow, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's just not fair.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:35 pm  

  • I just caught up with your story- Drowned Girl referenced you and I on Lost and Found in the comments section.

    http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.com/2007/11/wednesdays-connections-abound_21.html

    My adoption process hit a snag last week kind of like yours: right after we bought the car seat, cleaned out the room, etc.

    It's difficult to find the right words to say, but I wanted you know that I was sad to read the things you have gone through. My thoughts are with you.

    By Blogger Lassie, at 2:32 am  

  • Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry.

    Where better to get irrational than in your own blog. It's safe.

    Hoping things get better soon.

    By Blogger Tracy, at 3:17 pm  

  • You have every right to be upset. That has to be so very frustrating to get your hopes up and then have them dashed to the ground. Vent away here to us and get it out of your system.
    I will be here for you for the venting from this round and the excitement of the next one, which we all hope will be THE ONE.

    By Blogger Shinny, at 4:40 pm  

  • I have the same "irrational" feeling.

    I'm so sorry.

    (came here from Lost and Found)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:36 pm  

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