Getting off the Rollercoaster - Going for Adoption

Friday, June 13, 2008

6 weeks

Tomorrow we meet up with Theo's ex foster family again - just for an hour or so. We will meet at a park - neutral ground. The idea behind this is that Theo should not feel as though the family simply disappeared without trace, fell off the edge of the earth . . .

When we originally arranged it I didn't really think twice - I thought it would be a good idea. And now I am not so sure. OK - an older child might be reassured. He is just 16 months. Will he remember them? Assuming he does, how will it make him feel to meet them again, and then be parted from them once more? Will he understand that this is a reassurance meeting, done for his benefit? Or will he just be more confused, unsettled by the whole thing?

I have decided not to object if they want to pick him up, call him by their pet name for him (which we don't use), kiss him, cuddle him and so on. I don't feel threatened by them - though I think I did at first, when Theo was still so new. I know that the foster parents will be fine - they are straightforward, practical people; their teenage son, also, is unlikely to get over-emotional. But the teenage girl, almost at the end of her GCSE exams, is a potential wild card. But it's only a short meeting, and we never have to do this again.

I'm feeling like this is something we are doing for the foster family which is NOT THE POINT AT ALL. I am not looking forward to it for myself, but mostly I am worried on my little one's behalf.

Theo just woke, screaming, and inconsolable, which has NEVER happened before. It took me a few minutes just to wake him up enough to be able to calm him. Once he was properly awake he immediately calmed down, drank some milk, and went easily back to sleep. Thank heavens it was tonight and not tomorrow, though, or I would have been convinced that the meeting was the cause of unsettling him. Poor little bean, it made me cry to see him so distressed.


  • My son, who's now 2 years, 2 months, occasionally awoke in the middle of the night crying. After comforting him and settling down (and telling him that it was the middle of the night and he still needed some sleep!), he'd fall back asleep for the rest of the night. He also usually wakes from his naps VERY distressed. He calms down and then he's fine, but if it were happening to him for the first time, it would freak me out. When he wakes in the mornings, he's very happy and cheerful and is content to play in his crib for a while.

    I wish that all goes well tomorrow, especially for Theo. He is such a dear!

    By Blogger Anna, at 9:40 pm  

  • I hope it went well. My little gal was only 22 months when I got her, but she still recognized her birth family when we went to visits. And as a foster mom, it would mean a lot to me if I got to see the child. Best of luck!!

    By Anonymous baggage, at 3:18 am  

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