Getting off the Rollercoaster - Going for Adoption

Friday, November 18, 2005

Don't need D&C


I started bleeding again and arranged to go to the hospital for a scan. It's been way over 3 weeks since the bleeding started.
Booked in by a locum as my own GP not available. This is awful. Looking for 'Retained Products of Conception'. They even abbreviate it RPOC.
The good news is there were none, and the nice doctor who saw me after an uncomfortable scan said I could expect to bleed for maybe another week. But no RPOC.
Why did a tiny bit of me think the scan might just show a mistake - the bleeding was only light and perhaps there would be a little foetus there, surviving against all the odds.
Silly me.
I knew of course, but couldn't help just a tiny tiny hope.
I didn't cry at all when I explained it all to the doctor. I think she thought I was just a strong person, but I was just trying to be another person, to detach myself from this one. Be someone who hasn't just had a fifth miscarriage, but is really hopeful about her next pregnancy.
Can I be her?
I really have to be, or how will I ever cope with another miscarriage if it does happen?

3 Comments:

  • I'm not sure how any of us remain standing. So sad to hear this and wish you peace and space to heal and mourn.

    You are that strong woman. I see that strong woman. *hugs*

    By Blogger cat, at 8:52 pm  

  • I'm so sorry for your losses. I wish you the best.

    By Blogger Eileithia, at 12:48 am  

  • Hello,
    I saw your comment on miscarriageonetoomany and wanted to make sure you got comments.
    :)

    I'm so sorry about your losses.

    By Blogger KrimoJo, at 8:21 am  

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